It was one of those days, where I wanted to unchained myself from my worries, rip off my solitude life stiff toga, and flee to the magnificent roof top on the broll building. It’s always cooler at the tip of the building. I felt that was the only serene place I could discover a new and welcoming mood for the day. The heat in the office does not help when I’m having a bad day. It only makes everything seem much worse, and also messes up with the calm deep thinking process.

As soon as I got to the office, I went straight to the roof because I knew my mood will be tested with simple but harmful questions like; “…….are you alright? Is anything the matter? Are you sure you aren’t off-colored?……blah, blah, blah; all from colleagues and concern mortals……..”. Being on top of the roof would only position me closer to the sun. But I also knew that I would find solace and comfort there. I needed to be alone, but that’s pretty much impossible in an office and environment full of people. Of course, I still manage to find a way to be alone among the masses.

It has been incredibly boring, but as I ink down this piece, the sky has gone from almost black to completely white. Thunder is rumbling menacingly not so far from where I sat to put words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs and paragraphs into meaningful stanzas. The wind has picked up substantially, feeling the breeze with thoughtful sigh. The trees beneath swaying to the time of the storm on the horizon and the buildings around the hood stretched in coated colors with fading and sparkling roofs.

Angela, my bosom friend at work didn’t move from her usual perch. I’m pretty sure she could sensed my mood, and knew silence was what I needed at that time. She simply turned away after an ample observation, and then gave me a space to meander my thoughts through the whips of life. Teasing my thoughts into an eerie silence, I leaned solemnly on the fenced semi wall to allow the rising sun to protect me from the heat and hide me from the rest of the world.

I have always been a loner, brain myopic. It’s a badge I used to wear with shame, but I’ve learned to take some pride in it regardless. It isn’t that I like being alone, but sometimes, it just seems like that’s what is best for everyone in my shoes. One of the reasons I’ve always wanted to be a writer is because of the idea of being my own boss and doing the deep thinking all by myself. This sounds very appealing, selfish girl………

I could definitely be a charming, people’s person even in the mist of the darkest moment of my life, but I’ve always found out that, most folks just don’t “get me” when I switch to another self. I’m an acquired taste, which seems eventually sour and ultimately turn into an allergic reaction, where when mixed red with amber, it gives you an orange color.

My strong attachment to the yearn that run off with my heart is a translated mood tinted with ink. It’s deeply rooted in the fact that, it has gotten me right from the start. Clearly, it is some sort of freak of nature because, we have always clicked well. Rare is the person who clicks with the mood-swing and avid writer, peg in this otherwise square whole world. Precisely my reason for being a loner.

This day has been a day where the smiling face which has always being a partner in crime glared-off. Life at the work place have been very stressful and there was no ear to hear my tale of woe, no shoulder to cry on, and no hand to squeeze me tight and make me feel like I wasn’t all alone in an environment full of five hundred or more people. I try to lose myself up a bit at work, in hopes that time will fly, but inevitably, time is delayed on the tarmac and takes forever to make an extremely bumpy landing at 5:00pm. What a shock!

Finally, I am back to my apartment, where I hardly call a home. Where I feel a bit safe sometimes. Where being alone is the norm. There, nosy outsiders cannot get to me and cause me stress, unless that dude I call my Landlord. Trust me, that guy is very annoying!

I can flee to the tiniest part of my bed, closer to the cold wall, locked myself up, put all my phones on airplane mood and not have to answer to anyone. A storm is coming, but I don’t care. I’m safe down here in the shadow of my pillows.

To be alone is to breathe salty air… …But I’ve learned to understand and like my own company. I don’t need to be amused. I won’t say I hope today is better, just that each day is what it is. Thankfully, I have swallowed the day’s bitter pills without been choked.

There are better days ahead. Nothing last forever, the rough stones will soon turn into diamonds. It’s just a matter of time, yes a time where I could write something, anything that will soar up a dull day to a bright orange.

NB: The italized words in this write-up are borrowed words from a diffrent source.

6 Replies to “THE UTOPIA”

  1. “Nothing last forever, the rough stones will soon turn into diamonds. It’s just a matter of time, yes a time where I could write something, anything that will soar up a dull day to a bright orange.”

    This is an absolutely brilliant write. I could relate to it with my own thoughts.

    Long back I read a story on loneliness where I saw the inner struggles of the protagonist and her need for being with herself more than anything in the world. I loved it so much that I could never forget the story. Your piece reminded me of it.

    Liked by 1 person

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